1
00:00:07,690 --> 00:00:11,610
It was your idea to have tea last night
instead of cocoa, right?

2
00:00:11,990 --> 00:00:16,190
So? So why didn't you empty the teapot
before you packed it?

3
00:00:17,230 --> 00:00:18,330
It is empty.

4
00:00:18,630 --> 00:00:19,950
Now it's empty.

5
00:00:20,290 --> 00:00:23,650
My brassiere is full of tea leaves. Look
at that.

6
00:00:25,490 --> 00:00:31,970
I see a letter from a loved one and a
journey across the water.

7
00:00:33,410 --> 00:00:35,770
Hey, I pay you to move the furniture,
not your mouth.

8
00:00:37,470 --> 00:00:38,470
find anything.

9
00:00:38,490 --> 00:00:41,230
If I could find a percolator, I'd make
some coffee.

10
00:00:41,650 --> 00:00:43,030
If I could find a coffee.

11
00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:44,790
It's in the percolator.

12
00:00:45,910 --> 00:00:46,910
Thanks a lot.

13
00:00:47,290 --> 00:00:50,030
Why did you make a list of where you
packed everything?

14
00:00:50,530 --> 00:00:52,330
I did make a list. I forgot where I
packed it.

15
00:00:54,230 --> 00:00:57,270
Hey, hold, hold. That goes over there.
And bring in the bed next.

16
00:00:57,490 --> 00:00:58,490
That goes in the bedroom.

17
00:00:58,630 --> 00:00:59,630
In the bedroom.

18
00:00:59,650 --> 00:01:01,090
So much to learn.

19
00:01:01,310 --> 00:01:02,530
So little time.

20
00:01:09,039 --> 00:01:10,039
Oh,

21
00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:15,900
look at that chair. How can we invite
people over?

22
00:01:16,140 --> 00:01:17,620
I don't want to invite people over.

23
00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:20,960
You know, that's the difference between
you and me, Stanley.

24
00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:23,920
You're an introvert, and I'm gregarious.

25
00:01:24,340 --> 00:01:26,100
What's astrology got to do with it?

26
00:01:28,220 --> 00:01:29,720
I like people.

27
00:01:29,980 --> 00:01:31,280
I like to mingle.

28
00:01:31,820 --> 00:01:34,320
When did we last mingle, Stanley?

29
00:01:34,740 --> 00:01:36,040
Ah, don't start that again.

30
00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:53,660
furniture from a Salvation Army garage
sale.

31
00:01:54,580 --> 00:01:57,800
Don't be so nosy. I'm just taking a
friendly interest.

32
00:01:58,180 --> 00:01:59,780
My God, what a lot of junk.

33
00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:02,720
Jeffrey, you were going to be nice to
Mr. Roper, you promised.

34
00:02:02,940 --> 00:02:04,820
Well, yes, but only to his face.

35
00:02:07,820 --> 00:02:10,460
I hope they get all that stuff inside
before James arrives.

36
00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:14,660
Oh, it's James now, is it? Last week it
was Congressman Nelson.

37
00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:16,620
It's an honor to meet you, sir.

38
00:02:17,130 --> 00:02:18,790
Next week, you'll be licking his shoes.

39
00:02:19,550 --> 00:02:23,410
Natural friendships can spring up quite
spontaneously if you work at it.

40
00:02:25,830 --> 00:02:28,130
Yeah, you're standing on Donkey's paw.

41
00:02:28,670 --> 00:02:30,930
What? Oh, right, your imaginary dog.

42
00:02:31,890 --> 00:02:33,530
I'm sorry, Donkey.

43
00:02:33,750 --> 00:02:34,910
He's over there.

44
00:02:36,230 --> 00:02:37,870
Is he? Well, oh, yeah.

45
00:02:38,250 --> 00:02:39,290
Sorry, Donkey.

46
00:02:39,550 --> 00:02:40,690
He moved again.

47
00:02:42,330 --> 00:02:48,850
Yeah, and, and, I'm not sure this
imaginary dog is a help. Oh, nonsense.

48
00:02:48,850 --> 00:02:50,750
lovely dog, aren't you, Thunky?

49
00:02:51,050 --> 00:02:52,230
Coochie, coochie, coochie, coochie.

50
00:02:52,430 --> 00:02:54,390
See, Mommy knows where he is.

51
00:02:56,570 --> 00:03:00,270
I don't care to discuss this dog any
further. Now, can we just change the

52
00:03:00,270 --> 00:03:03,830
subject? I think we ought to invite the
rovers over for a cup of coffee.

53
00:03:04,910 --> 00:03:05,910
Here, Thunky.

54
00:03:06,490 --> 00:03:11,650
Good baby. Yes, yes, yes. Welcome to
Daddy. Yes. Oh, what a cute little face.

55
00:03:26,890 --> 00:03:29,910
Oh, by the way, I'm afraid we dropped a
vase.

56
00:03:30,730 --> 00:03:35,950
Oh, Stanley, they broke the vase your
mother gave us.

57
00:03:36,230 --> 00:03:37,970
Here's another pie, darling.

58
00:04:00,420 --> 00:04:02,740
Look at this. We've had this for 20
years.

59
00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:04,920
It's a long time to keep a broken vase.

60
00:04:10,260 --> 00:04:14,980
And my wife suggested I come over and,
well, perhaps a cup of coffee?

61
00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:16,380
Oh!

62
00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:18,660
How do you like that? We've been here
five minutes. He wants us to make him

63
00:04:18,660 --> 00:04:19,660
coffee.

64
00:04:20,060 --> 00:04:21,060
Oh, Stanley.

65
00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:27,220
We'd love to as soon as we've freshened
up a little. It's very kind of you. It's

66
00:04:27,220 --> 00:04:28,240
the least I could do.

67
00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:30,580
If I could do less, I would.

68
00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:35,640
Oh.

69
00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:37,160
Everything all right?

70
00:04:37,620 --> 00:04:38,760
Are you turned on?

71
00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:40,660
Oh, Mr.

72
00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:41,920
Brooks.

73
00:04:42,820 --> 00:04:44,700
I mean gas, electricity.

74
00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:52,160
Good, good, good.

75
00:04:52,580 --> 00:04:56,800
Look, I'm sure you really don't have
time to stop for coffee. Just say no,

76
00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:57,800
understand. Oh, no.

77
00:04:58,510 --> 00:04:59,249
Some other time.

78
00:04:59,250 --> 00:05:02,450
Of course we'll come for coffee.

79
00:05:03,350 --> 00:05:04,350
We'll see you later.

80
00:05:05,230 --> 00:05:07,970
If it's dark, just stick your head out
the door. That'll light the way.

81
00:05:44,910 --> 00:05:46,350
I'm trying to figure out why we have two
Johns.

82
00:05:48,950 --> 00:05:52,170
This one doesn't even have a lid on it.

83
00:05:54,030 --> 00:05:55,170
It's a bidet.

84
00:05:55,950 --> 00:05:57,110
They're very continental.

85
00:05:57,970 --> 00:06:00,150
Well, if you don't mind, I'll use the
good old American model.

86
00:06:01,470 --> 00:06:04,790
I'm not going to wait for you. I'm going
to go over to the Brooks's, okay? Good.

87
00:06:04,870 --> 00:06:06,790
And you come over as soon as you're
ready. Right.

88
00:06:29,580 --> 00:06:32,320
there, his wife there, and you next to
her. Hi.

89
00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:34,260
And about your dress.

90
00:06:34,940 --> 00:06:36,580
This is not a coming out party.

91
00:06:38,460 --> 00:06:39,500
I know what I'm doing.

92
00:06:39,720 --> 00:06:41,340
It'll take his mind off the food.

93
00:06:42,500 --> 00:06:43,500
All right.

94
00:06:43,820 --> 00:06:44,840
Don't jump up and down.

95
00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:48,680
Oh, hi.

96
00:06:48,740 --> 00:06:52,200
We didn't think you were going to make
it. Oh, well, I thought I ought to

97
00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:53,500
out of my old clothes.

98
00:06:53,840 --> 00:06:55,220
No, no, you look fine just as you are.

99
00:07:03,470 --> 00:07:04,650
Is your husband with you? No.

100
00:07:05,110 --> 00:07:06,110
Good.

101
00:07:06,350 --> 00:07:08,150
I mean, it's very good of you to come.

102
00:07:09,330 --> 00:07:11,530
I'll bet you're exhausted with all this
moving.

103
00:07:11,770 --> 00:07:13,190
How about a cup of coffee?

104
00:07:13,450 --> 00:07:14,830
Better yet, a glass of wine.

105
00:07:15,510 --> 00:07:16,510
It's quicker.

106
00:07:18,290 --> 00:07:20,230
You must be up to your ears in it.

107
00:07:20,450 --> 00:07:22,970
Oh, no, this is the first drink I've had
today.

108
00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:18,860
Oh, no, they're here. I'll take their
ice buckets. You fill their coat.

109
00:08:19,100 --> 00:08:20,100
Good evening, girl.

110
00:08:21,820 --> 00:08:22,820
Good evening.

111
00:08:28,820 --> 00:08:31,640
My wife here? Oh, yes. Please, come
inside, quickly.

112
00:08:33,520 --> 00:08:34,679
Where are the towels, Helen?

113
00:08:35,940 --> 00:08:39,419
They're in that little storage room.
They're in... Oh,

114
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:42,280
never mind. I'll show you myself.

115
00:08:57,290 --> 00:08:59,310
Of course not. I don't take a bath in my
shorts.

116
00:09:00,030 --> 00:09:03,470
One gust of wind and we'll be the
laughing stock of the neighborhood.

117
00:09:05,570 --> 00:09:06,570
Give me the keys.

118
00:09:07,150 --> 00:09:08,710
Keys? I gave them to you before.

119
00:09:09,230 --> 00:09:12,350
No, you didn't. Yes, I did. I put them
on the table and...

120
00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:36,000
I'm sure you shouldn't put something
frilly around the top of your... No.

121
00:09:37,700 --> 00:09:39,780
All right, but when you walk, glide.

122
00:09:40,020 --> 00:09:41,020
Don't bounce.

123
00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:43,400
Is it all right if I breathe
occasionally?

124
00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:45,000
You'll have to be the judge of that.

125
00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:49,240
Now, just remember, they're an important
couple.

126
00:10:14,610 --> 00:10:16,170
You should be able to get up there easy,
Helen.

127
00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:35,280
was sent to bed early tonight. His
father thinks it's best with college

128
00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:36,580
coming up in 15 years.

129
00:12:38,860 --> 00:12:40,540
Thank you. Oh, now what?

130
00:12:40,740 --> 00:12:42,120
You probably can't find the soap.

131
00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:44,120
Yes, yes, what is?

132
00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:53,760
James and Margaret.

133
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:55,720
Look who's here, Ann.

134
00:12:56,060 --> 00:12:59,300
Oh, it's your congressman. I better go.
Finish your drink first.

135
00:12:59,540 --> 00:13:00,540
Oh, thank you.

136
00:13:12,689 --> 00:13:13,790
She will be in a moment.

137
00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:57,360
President Carter's.

138
00:14:58,570 --> 00:15:01,190
I couldn't get out of that room. All
right, all right, all right. I'll phone

139
00:15:01,190 --> 00:15:02,410
a locksmith. You stay here.

140
00:15:03,810 --> 00:15:05,110
You should be in bed.

141
00:15:05,430 --> 00:15:06,610
Sunky wants a drink.

142
00:15:06,890 --> 00:15:08,210
Oh, I hate that dog.

143
00:15:09,110 --> 00:15:11,330
He's over there. Put that dog down.

144
00:15:12,150 --> 00:15:13,510
What dog are you talking about?

145
00:15:13,770 --> 00:15:15,050
My dog, Sunky.

146
00:15:15,690 --> 00:15:16,770
I don't see any dog.

147
00:15:54,030 --> 00:15:55,310
or might eat the size of a camel.

148
00:15:56,550 --> 00:16:03,290
He was going to take a bath.

149
00:16:03,810 --> 00:16:04,870
On the balcony?

150
00:16:06,010 --> 00:16:07,450
Well, it's a long story.

151
00:16:07,910 --> 00:16:08,930
I'll bet it is.

152
00:16:10,650 --> 00:16:12,730
So, you're a congressman, huh?

153
00:16:13,090 --> 00:16:16,330
Here. I'm sure. Thank you. I'm sure
you'd like to hear the opinion of the

154
00:16:16,330 --> 00:16:19,590
average man on the street, wouldn't you?
Well, actually, I...

155
00:16:33,580 --> 00:16:35,080
It's all right. I'm in no hurry.

156
00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:38,760
Can I have another?

157
00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:40,640
It's for my leg, you know.

158
00:16:45,160 --> 00:16:50,760
Well, no offense, Your Honor, but it
just seems to me that being a

159
00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:52,280
is a license to steal.

160
00:17:29,130 --> 00:17:32,570
I wouldn't give any money to any country
that couldn't pay for it.

161
00:17:34,450 --> 00:17:40,650
Now, take, uh, take India, for example.

162
00:17:40,950 --> 00:17:42,490
All right, all right, forget it.

163
00:17:43,250 --> 00:17:45,330
Let's go to, let's go to Red China.

164
00:17:45,570 --> 00:17:46,890
You go first, we'll follow.

165
00:17:48,810 --> 00:17:51,310
Let me freshen up these drinks.

166
00:18:07,890 --> 00:18:10,650
What the hell did you do with it?

167
00:18:13,990 --> 00:18:17,590
I spent it on junkets to Hawaii and
loose women.

168
00:18:27,150 --> 00:18:29,950
I'm sorry, dear. I just lost control.

169
00:18:30,750 --> 00:18:32,750
You see what we send to Washington?

170
00:18:33,130 --> 00:18:34,230
They're those idiots.

171
00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:31,960
Peacock Drive?

172
00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:33,260
Oh, yes.

173
00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:36,200
Thank you.

174
00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:37,400
Thank you.

175
00:19:40,540 --> 00:19:42,980
Okay, now, go get your bath.

176
00:19:43,860 --> 00:19:46,480
The water's probably running cold now.

177
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:33,380
I've been ashamed of you before, but
tonight I realize what being ashamed of

178
00:20:33,380 --> 00:20:34,420
really is.

179
00:20:38,140 --> 00:20:39,320
Choochie -woochie.

180
00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:44,520
Assaulting a congressman.

181
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:46,080
Letting your...

182
00:20:57,520 --> 00:20:59,040
Choo -choo -woochie.

183
00:21:02,020 --> 00:21:03,760
Oh, Stanley.

184
00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:08,140
You haven't called me that in years.

185
00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:15,280
If my choo -choo -woochie's finished,
why don't she come over and sit next to

186
00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:16,500
me? Oopsie -whoops.

187
00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:30,080
You know sometimes I think I'm too hard
on you.

188
00:22:10,360 --> 00:22:14,400
The Ropers was videotaped in front of a
studio audience.